Anonymous asked:
💜Sugar and spice and everything nice 🍬🍦Latina👑Southern Belle 💋Naughty and Nerdy 😉👓📕 Bisexual 🌺💦 30🎂 🎉 Mermaid for life 🧜🏻♀️🌊Carebear 🐻💖🌈NSFW 18+ Blog💻📱NO dick pictures please!
Anonymous asked:
instructor144 answered:
That’s a tough one. Followers?
I hate to tell you this, but the entire mindset of “breaking through” is not ever going to get you where you want the relationship to go. She puts the walls up because that is what makes her feel safe, and it has been working for her for very likely much longer than you have been in her life.. Until she can feel with you like she feels inside her walls you will remain outside, and she will continue to retreat inside. For her to open up and let you in is just going to take time. And it is going to take consistency. And it is going to take your acceptance of her exactly as she is, walls included. She can feel your antagonism about her walls, and that only reassures her that she needs them. Just be there when she ventures out. Be there every time she ventures out. and when she retreats let her go, and do so without resentment. Be her safe place outside her walls. She wants to feel safe in both places, and free to choose which place works for her at any given time. Eventually, although it may take a long long time, she will spend progressively more time outside, where you are, if she can trust you will be there when she comes out. And only then do you have any chance that she will let you go inside with her when the world threatens. Because it is inside that she keeps her true self.
Reblogging for the educated eloquent and above all, sensitive response from @daddydommrjohnny
Respect.
Wow what a fantastic way to describe it
survival skills, whether they’re healthy or not, take a long time to unlearn. they were learned in the first place, often as a child, to literally survive in a place you couldn’t leave.
thank you to those who understand, who are gentle, and who love us and help us, and help us help ourselves.
thank you to those who “just be there”. thank you for understanding that’s what will make us feel safe with you.
reblogging for @fuckaroundfindout’s tags, cause hooooly shit.
“She can feel your antagonism about her walls, and that only reassures her that she needs them.“
Yep. No one closes themselves off by choice; they just think there’s no other viable way to be because that’s what their experiences have taught them.
You can’t successfully chase a skittish housecat. You have to be inviting enough for them to come to you. Even then they’re still prone to dash off at the least provocation.
What beautiful people
These are all amazing responses and I truly have nothing else to add that hasn’t already been said. But I wanted to highlight what @sapiens-dominus said above:
I am overwhelmed that this has as many notes that it does.
like I seriously want to cry because of it.
it’s a hell of a thing to be heard, to be patient with, related to, by strangers you’ll never meet, but whose hearts you understand.
no words. This is just . it..walls are there for a reason we may not always understand,it takes time and patience, as life has taught them that letting people inside the walls only leads to pain, so they build more..inside that wall is a raw heart heart, even if it’s like a hissing wildcat.